Bug#863881: release-notes: proofreading sweep - about.dbk

[Justin B Rye]

Package: release-notes
Severity: wishlist
Tags: patch

Just to get the ball rolling here's a commented diff on one of the
files that has least need for proofreading. All I've got to suggest
are two very low-priority stylistic improvements.

Index: about.dbk
===================================================================
--- about.dbk (revision 11524)
+++ about.dbk (working copy)
@@ -51,7 +51,7 @@
please file a bug in the <ulink url="&url-bts;">bug tracking
system</ulink> against the <systemitem
role="package">release-notes</systemitem> package. You
-might want to review first the <ulink url="&url-bts-rn;">existing bug
+might first want to review the <ulink url="&url-bts-rn;">existing bug
reports</ulink> in case the issue you've found has already been reported. Feel
free to add additional information to existing bug reports if you can
contribute content for this document.

(This feels like a clumsy attempt to avoid a "split infinitive", but
in fact the way I'd naturally phrase it is like this, which avoids the
issue anyway.)

@@ -132,7 +132,7 @@
<emphasis>Debian Documentation Project</emphasis>. You can use
the <ulink url="&url-svn-release-notes;">web interface</ulink> to
access its files individually through the web and see their
- changes. For more information on how to access the SVN please
+ changes. For more information on how to access SVN please
consult the <ulink url="&url-ddp-svn-info;">Debian Documentation
Project SVN information pages</ulink>.
</para>

I suppose developers may feel differently about this, but I wouldn't
naturally refer to a particular version control repository as "the"
SVN any more than I'd talk about checking something out of a git.

(The "Debian Documentation Project SVN information pages" also mention
git; is this SVN-only coverage in the release-notes still true or does
it need an update?)

[Debian Bug Tracking System]

Your message dated Sat, 03 Jun 2017 10:01:00 +0000
with message-id <52d55e66-b304-b923-d809-***@thykier.net>
and subject line Re: Bug#863881: release-notes: proofreading sweep - about.dbk
has caused the Debian Bug report #863881,
regarding release-notes: proofreading sweep - about.dbk
to be marked as done.

This means that you claim that the problem has been dealt with.
If this is not the case it is now your responsibility to reopen the
Bug report if necessary, and/or fix the problem forthwith.

(NB: If you are a system administrator and have no idea what this
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Post by Justin B Rye
Package: release-notes
Severity: wishlist
Tags: patch
Just to get the ball rolling here's a commented diff on one of the
files that has least need for proofreading. All I've got to suggest
are two very low-priority stylistic improvements.
Index: about.dbk
===================================================================
--- about.dbk (revision 11524)
+++ about.dbk (working copy)
@@ -51,7 +51,7 @@
please file a bug in the <ulink url="&url-bts;">bug tracking
system</ulink> against the <systemitem
role="package">release-notes</systemitem> package. You
-might want to review first the <ulink url="&url-bts-rn;">existing bug
+might first want to review the <ulink url="&url-bts-rn;">existing bug
reports</ulink> in case the issue you've found has already been reported. Feel
free to add additional information to existing bug reports if you can
contribute content for this document.
(This feels like a clumsy attempt to avoid a "split infinitive", but
in fact the way I'd naturally phrase it is like this, which avoids the
issue anyway.)
@@ -132,7 +132,7 @@
<emphasis>Debian Documentation Project</emphasis>. You can use
the <ulink url="&url-svn-release-notes;">web interface</ulink> to
access its files individually through the web and see their
- changes. For more information on how to access the SVN please
+ changes. For more information on how to access SVN please
consult the <ulink url="&url-ddp-svn-info;">Debian Documentation
Project SVN information pages</ulink>.
</para>
I suppose developers may feel differently about this, but I wouldn't
naturally refer to a particular version control repository as "the"
SVN any more than I'd talk about checking something out of a git.
(The "Debian Documentation Project SVN information pages" also mention
git; is this SVN-only coverage in the release-notes still true or does
it need an update?)
--
JBR with qualifications in linguistics, experience as a Debian
sysadmin, and probably no clue about this particular package