Justin B Rye
2017-06-05 13:30:01 UTC
Package: release-notes
Severity: wishlist
Tags: patch
Is this the last or have I skipped one? Either way, this one's
entirely made up of wishlist stylistic changes.
Index: installing.dbk
===================================================================
--- installing.dbk (revision 11552)
+++ installing.dbk (working copy)
@@ -131,7 +131,7 @@
<term>Desktop selection</term>
<listitem>
<para>
-Since Jessie, the desktop can be chosen within tasksel during installation,
+Since jessie, the desktop can be chosen within tasksel during installation,
and several desktops can be selected at the same time.</para>
</listitem>
</varlistentry>
Standardise on lowercase.
@@ -164,7 +164,7 @@
The languages that can only be selected using the graphical installer as their
character sets cannot be presented in a non-graphical environment are: Amharic,
Bengali, Dzongkha, Gujarati, Hindi, Georgian, Kannada, Khmer, Malayalam,
-Marathi, Nepali, Punjabi, Tamil, Telugu, Tibetan and Uyghur.
+Marathi, Nepali, Punjabi, Tamil, Telugu, Tibetan, and Uyghur.
</para>
</listitem>
</varlistentry>
Especially low-priority: standardise on Harvard comma.
@@ -175,7 +175,7 @@
<term>UEFI boot</term>
<listitem>
<para>
- The &Releasename; installer improves support for a lot of UEFI firmware
+ The &releasename; installer improves support for a lot of UEFI firmware
and also supports installing on 32-bit UEFI firmware with a 64-bit
kernel.
</para>
Standardise on lowercase.
@@ -194,8 +194,8 @@
naming scheme for network interfaces.
<literal>ens0</literal> or <literal>enp1s1</literal> (ethernet)
or <literal>wlp3s0</literal> (wlan) will replace the
-legacy <literal>eth0</literal>, <literal>eth1</literal> etc.
-See <xref linkend="new-interface-names"/> for more informations.
+legacy <literal>eth0</literal>, <literal>eth1</literal>, etc.
+See <xref linkend="new-interface-names"/> for more information.
</para>
</listitem>
</varlistentry>
Harvard comma and English number agreement.
@@ -205,7 +205,7 @@
<term>Multi-arch images now default to <literal>amd64</literal></term>
<listitem>
<para>
-Since 64-bits PC become more common, the default architecture
+Since 64-bit PCs have become more common, the default architecture
on multi-arch images is now <literal>amd64</literal> instead of <literal>i386</literal>.
</para>
</listitem>
English number agreement and tense usage. (I'm surprised to hear this
is new in stretch.)
@@ -216,7 +216,7 @@
<term>Full CD sets removed</term>
<listitem>
<para>
-The full CD sets are not build anymore. The DVD images are still available
+The full CD sets are not built anymore. The DVD images are still available as well
as the netinst CD image.
</para>
<para>
English tense agreement, and a more significant usage error that
actually changes what the sentence says.
@@ -228,11 +228,11 @@
<!-- new in Stretch-->
<varlistentry>
-<term>Acessibility in the installer and the installed system</term>
+<term>Accessibility in the installer and the installed system</term>
Spelling fix.
<listitem>
<para>
-The installer produce two beeps instead of one when booted with grub,
-so the user knows he has to use the grub way to edit entries.
+The installer produces two beeps instead of one when booted with grub,
+so users can tell that they have to use the grub method of editing entries.
</para>
<para>
MATE desktop is the default desktop when brltty or espeakup is used in debian-installer.
Verb subject agreement fix, and a phrasing that avoids assuming that
users are male.
@@ -242,11 +242,11 @@
<!-- new in Stretch-->
<varlistentry>
-<term>Add HTTPS support</term>
+<term>Added HTTPS support</term>
<listitem>
Consistency - most of these subheadings are noun phrases or past tense
verb phrases.
<para>
-Support for HTTPS has been added to the installer, enabling download of
-packages from https mirrors.
+Support for HTTPS has been added to the installer, enabling downloading of
+packages from HTTPS mirrors.
</para>
</listitem>
</varlistentry>
"Download" as a noun usually means the file, not the act of
downloading; and then use more consistent capitalisation.
Severity: wishlist
Tags: patch
Is this the last or have I skipped one? Either way, this one's
entirely made up of wishlist stylistic changes.
Index: installing.dbk
===================================================================
--- installing.dbk (revision 11552)
+++ installing.dbk (working copy)
@@ -131,7 +131,7 @@
<term>Desktop selection</term>
<listitem>
<para>
-Since Jessie, the desktop can be chosen within tasksel during installation,
+Since jessie, the desktop can be chosen within tasksel during installation,
and several desktops can be selected at the same time.</para>
</listitem>
</varlistentry>
Standardise on lowercase.
@@ -164,7 +164,7 @@
The languages that can only be selected using the graphical installer as their
character sets cannot be presented in a non-graphical environment are: Amharic,
Bengali, Dzongkha, Gujarati, Hindi, Georgian, Kannada, Khmer, Malayalam,
-Marathi, Nepali, Punjabi, Tamil, Telugu, Tibetan and Uyghur.
+Marathi, Nepali, Punjabi, Tamil, Telugu, Tibetan, and Uyghur.
</para>
</listitem>
</varlistentry>
Especially low-priority: standardise on Harvard comma.
@@ -175,7 +175,7 @@
<term>UEFI boot</term>
<listitem>
<para>
- The &Releasename; installer improves support for a lot of UEFI firmware
+ The &releasename; installer improves support for a lot of UEFI firmware
and also supports installing on 32-bit UEFI firmware with a 64-bit
kernel.
</para>
Standardise on lowercase.
@@ -194,8 +194,8 @@
naming scheme for network interfaces.
<literal>ens0</literal> or <literal>enp1s1</literal> (ethernet)
or <literal>wlp3s0</literal> (wlan) will replace the
-legacy <literal>eth0</literal>, <literal>eth1</literal> etc.
-See <xref linkend="new-interface-names"/> for more informations.
+legacy <literal>eth0</literal>, <literal>eth1</literal>, etc.
+See <xref linkend="new-interface-names"/> for more information.
</para>
</listitem>
</varlistentry>
Harvard comma and English number agreement.
@@ -205,7 +205,7 @@
<term>Multi-arch images now default to <literal>amd64</literal></term>
<listitem>
<para>
-Since 64-bits PC become more common, the default architecture
+Since 64-bit PCs have become more common, the default architecture
on multi-arch images is now <literal>amd64</literal> instead of <literal>i386</literal>.
</para>
</listitem>
English number agreement and tense usage. (I'm surprised to hear this
is new in stretch.)
@@ -216,7 +216,7 @@
<term>Full CD sets removed</term>
<listitem>
<para>
-The full CD sets are not build anymore. The DVD images are still available
+The full CD sets are not built anymore. The DVD images are still available as well
as the netinst CD image.
</para>
<para>
English tense agreement, and a more significant usage error that
actually changes what the sentence says.
@@ -228,11 +228,11 @@
<!-- new in Stretch-->
<varlistentry>
-<term>Acessibility in the installer and the installed system</term>
+<term>Accessibility in the installer and the installed system</term>
Spelling fix.
<listitem>
<para>
-The installer produce two beeps instead of one when booted with grub,
-so the user knows he has to use the grub way to edit entries.
+The installer produces two beeps instead of one when booted with grub,
+so users can tell that they have to use the grub method of editing entries.
</para>
<para>
MATE desktop is the default desktop when brltty or espeakup is used in debian-installer.
Verb subject agreement fix, and a phrasing that avoids assuming that
users are male.
@@ -242,11 +242,11 @@
<!-- new in Stretch-->
<varlistentry>
-<term>Add HTTPS support</term>
+<term>Added HTTPS support</term>
<listitem>
Consistency - most of these subheadings are noun phrases or past tense
verb phrases.
<para>
-Support for HTTPS has been added to the installer, enabling download of
-packages from https mirrors.
+Support for HTTPS has been added to the installer, enabling downloading of
+packages from HTTPS mirrors.
</para>
</listitem>
</varlistentry>
"Download" as a noun usually means the file, not the act of
downloading; and then use more consistent capitalisation.
--
JBR with qualifications in linguistics, experience as a Debian
sysadmin, and probably no clue about this particular package
JBR with qualifications in linguistics, experience as a Debian
sysadmin, and probably no clue about this particular package